Within my final essay crit I showed Amber every part of my essay other than the conclusion, which we discussed the content that was going to be added to the section. Upon reading the essay at this point Amber questioned the use of Naked smoothies, in my example regarding social media influencers, as most of the essay talks about fashion-focused brands. Yet later in the essay Waitrose and John Lewis are spoken about to quite some extent, bringing to light that the techniques of remaining relevant to a consumer, spoken about in the essay, are not solely fashion focused. This will again be supported by another quote in the conclusion which highlights brand strength - in regards to notoriety, through design through using Kodak as an example. Further bringing elements of other brands, outside the fashion industry, into the correct context for the essay.
It was also mentioned that I should re-evaluate the beginnings of some of the paragraphs, as when starting some points I used the language 'However' etc. which gives the essay room for questioning the facts that I am making to prove a point. As well as making the essay flow as one, rather than making a point and then making a new one.
No comments:
Post a Comment